The HAMPTON Report

Imagine walking into an airy Upper East Side apartment with 18th-century antiques, gilt mirrors and chintz upholstery. Now imagine Metallica playing on the sound system.

Cheer up by reading about everyone else’s horror stories

Feeling bad that you can’t afford a vacation? Travel books with titles like ”Don’t Go There!” and ”I Should Have Stayed Home” may make you feel better. For $15 or so, you’ll get a laugh out of vacation horrors that you’ll be happy to miss.

NEW YORK — Amy Redford makes her directorial debut with The Guitar, the story of a young woman (Saffron Burrows of The Bank Job) who discovers she has a terminal illness.

In the early hours of yesterday, a fair reflection of British culture and aspirations: Cops Uncut 3 (Virgin), Special Victims Unit (Hallmark), Boozed-Up Brits Abroad Unleashed (Bravo+1), 12 Steps to Poker Heaven (Information TV), Live Roulette (Open Access 3), Sextastic Double Header (Nuts TV), America’s Fattest City (Sky Real Lives +1), Single In The Hamptons (Wedding TV +1), Extreme …

Once carried by wives to laborers in the fields, the meat-filled cakes called pasteles are now an indispensable part of holiday gatherings.

‘Why didn’t you burn the tapes?”

SARANAC LAKE - In August, Eric Thompson, 25, of Lake Clear, gathered scrap metal to help fund his motorcycle trip to the Hamptons for a friend’s bachelor party. This Saturday, a special concert will collect money to help him cope with the loss he experienced that weekend.

The Southampton Village Board has not completely ruled out buying the historical White property from the Southampton Historical Museum.

Our picks to click this week: